Everyone`s smiling but I make myself left out

Was it a song i heard? Or was I talking about it with somebody? Or was it in a movie?

I don`t remember, but I remember hearing sometime in the last week or so saying: ¨memories are all we`ll ever have in life so what we make of the moments we have now are what we`ll have to look back on later¨.

It stuck with me. Because while you can choose your outlook on situations, there are some situations out there that you just can`t choose. Say a friend dying for instance.

In order to choose a situation, you have to be able to forsee an outcome of a situation.

This is where the future ties into this philosophy. You have to look at how each word will say, step you take, choice you make will affect everyone around you and how their actions in turn will affect your mood.

In order for all your memories to be happy you have to have a great mindset all the time and therefore you have to see the best in things and make sure every action you take is the right one for yourself and for the people around you and there is no room for mistake because when you make a mistake, you can fuck it all up in an instance.

And this is where bad memories come from. This is why even now you can look back on some situations in life and say wow that was terrible.

The quote bothers me because it`s completely irrational to think that anyone can have a life of 100% completely happy memories. And what about the moment your in? How can you enjoy it if you have to worry about the past and future at the same time?

I`ve thought way too deep into this. I`m really tired tonight and I`m having another one of those days where unpredictable things keep flying at me to throw me off guard and I just read this poem by a girl I work with that made me cry because it`s exactly how I feel only I`m not allowed to say stuff like that because it will ¨affect everyone around me and how their actions in turn will affect my mood.¨... even though that`s gone to shit anyways again today. Somehow I fucked up the keyboard on Craig`s computer so sorry if this shows up with weird characters throughout the post.